Overflowing Inbox!

So many amazing things are simultaneously transpiring that the last newsletter could scarcely contain the burgeoning cornucopia of occurrences! Well, that’s not really true. The only reason I’m sending this addendum now is because an item or two are time sensitive. But come on, you gotta love hyperbole.

Desiree’ Weaver needs to find lodging in Metro West Boston, and quickly. She has a small dog, would like to live within a half-hour drive of Framingham, and would prefer to be near a T or commuter rail line. She’s looking for a year lease if possible. If you have any leads in this area, please contact her ASAP at: dactylicbinkie@gmail.com. (Note to enthusiastic realtors: No, she can’t afford the $3.5 million McMansion that your sellers are desperately trying to dump for $2.9 million.)

Heather Gillis also needs lodging, only she requires it in September and in Seattle. She’ll be attending the University of Washington and would like to live in the U District or Ravenna, but anywhere convenient to UW would work. Actually, I could probably house her in my tenement if it wasn’t already filled with drug dealers renters. Contact Heather at: heather_gillis@hotmail.com.

Many of you have asked to see pictures of recent Fitpacking trips (where much like in Hottentot society, many = 3). Here are some links to the April Great Smoky Mountains Trip and two links to the May Shenandoah National Park Trip:

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.jsp?mode=fromshare&Uc=16gnqgjx.5qm1qjxx&Uy=t5fpad&Ux=0&UV=969057418617_430318255605

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.jsp?mode=fromshare&Uc=16gnqgjx.2aw1pfqt&Uy=-sftdsq&Ux=0&UV=176296355406_740318255605

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.jsp?mode=fromshare&Uc=bbnvfqwl.5uc4k77p&Uy=-pp718&Ux=1&UV=674962905976_450318255605

If you have friends you think might benefit from Fitpacking (“Say, it looks like you could stand to lose some weight!”) please refer them here: http://www.fitpacking.com).

On another note, for those who are impressed by minor culinary successes, I am now a Certified Food Handler / Food Safety Manager by the American Food Safety Institute and the National Registry of Food Safety Professionals. This is the type of utter non-event that your average loser-guy would use to his advantage to try to impress, and ultimately pick up women – often with great success I might add. If only I were that smooth…

If you are feeling altruistic and don’t mind some passive advertising, your click below will provide 1/45,000 of a free mammogram to an underprivileged woman. http://www.thebreastcancersite.com. You can click once per day.

Hey hippies! If you want to throw away your unlimited career potential and receive meager pay to work on some wild haired backpacking venture, the Continental Divide National Scenic Trail needs you. They are hiring a New Mexico Regional Coordinator whose responsibilities include, well, just about everything. Detailed information can be found here: http://www.cdtrail.org/page.php?pname=cdta/jobs/permanent

And big news for Tina Aitala Engblom. She is due to deliver a baby in 3 weeks. Hopefully, the new addition will not materially affect her work on http://www.pathwaystofamilywellness.org.

Finally, I’d like to take this opportunity to deconstruct and try to understand a phrase whose appeal completely escapes me. “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”.

I just don’t get who finds this phrase alluring. If I understand its nuances correctly, the primary appeal of the slogan is the secrecy of your actions. This means that Vegas recognizes and is trying to tap into some unquenchable obsession you have of doing shameful things that you would like to keep secret from your business associates, friends and family. While we’ve all done things we’re not all that proud of at one time or another, the premeditated nature of planning an entire vacation around your unsavory acts seems bizarre to me.

As one who is not really all that keyed in to the world of vice (translation: dull nerd) , I’m not sure exactly what types of things “happen” in Vegas that need to stay there, but I immediately dismiss illegal acts like murder and drugs, which I cannot imagine they condone. I speculate that the happenings mainly involve either infidelity, getting highly inebriated, anonymous intimacy with complete strangers, or some combination of the above. I am not so naïve as to overlook the fact that these popular actions are cherished institutions and sacred American freedoms.

But this is where cognitive dissonance kicks in. Why would you go all the way to Las Vegas to find a stranger for companionship (who I guess also came to Vegas for the exact same reason)? Why the secrecy? If you’re predisposed to doing certain things, then just do them. If you enjoy becoming intimate with complete strangers that you’ve only known for an hour or two (no one can accuse YOU of being xenophobic!) why must it stay in Vegas?

Walk with your head high! Be proud that someone found you amazing enough to share themselves with you at the drop of a hat! It shows just how special you are to the other person and illustrates how truly special it must be to be with you. So I wonder, why should something so incredible stay in Vegas?

And now you finally understand why whenever I feel like cross-dressing, I make sure to do it in public, perhaps around town or at your house party.

Remember that this message is mirrored on the blog: http://stevesmildlyinformativestuff.blogspot.com/